The dull grey of the post Apocalyptic age greeted the eye as I squinted out the window.

“Will there be anybody riding in today?”
“Dunno; I’ll find out when I get there.”

Out of the bunk, throw on the nicks, morning ablutions, morning oblations, change nicks (it’s ablutions before throwing on the nicks, silly), protein shake, out with the bike (feeling in a Unibomber frame of mind) and off we go:

• Swiped by ute within 200 metres – “Happy New Year, D!ckhead!”
• Resolved to commit to medication regime to manage Tourettes.
• Down Luton’s driveway – Dopey streaks past like a rabbit on the run, “Sorry Bullet, I didn’t recognise your @rse!”
• (“The protein shakes are working,” Bullet (Le) is chuffed)
• 16 on the Pedal for the first Post Mayan Apocalyptic Commute – atmosphere reminiscent of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. “We don’t need another Hero! (Tina Turner)” underscoring the ride
• There is a BOF in the New World – crack on!

No incedents or other to report. Business as usual in many ways:

• Quarter, resplendent in the Yulefest garb of the KOM jersey
• Assumed Quarter took the KOM – I was somewhere back around Chatswood…
• UB yellow carded for outrageous manoeuvre at the top of Scaramanga – not satisfied with his newly found media whore status (courtesy: Peter Fitzimons, SMH), he seems intent on doing whatever it takes to ensure he remains in the papers. Propose a “Yellow Card” register for transgressions whilst in the livery – no correspondence will be entered into.
• Big Goaders suggested Le Bullet could be entered into said register for his deft and elegant cornering sweep into West St. Unfortunately, ineligible as I was not in the livery. No correspondence will be entered into (do as I say, not as I do)
• The B&T open on the first trading day of the year. Outstanding. Sarah looking forlorn due to the absence of Chippo.
• Fervent discussion around the cancellation of today’s lunch and potential for Sri Lunchalot’s excommunication as a result. Lunch promptly re-instated
• Planning and strategy breakout groups convened covering – 2013 Ride to the Moon challenge (Total km’s by all members of the ER Group on Strava, sign up ASAP), Fluffer deviations (A Fluffer via Ettalong departing 2.00am from Patto’s – kidding….), The Ride to Work Challenge – track how many of roughly 250 working days each of us ride to work – specifics to follow, The Madison – a beginner’s guide, with keynote address by Richard Measures (in absentia).

So, as sung by the patrons at the World Darts Championships, “‘Ere we go, ‘ere we go, ‘ere we go…..” Set your clocks, start your engines, we’re off on another adventure – 2013.

Confirmation of lunch pending, proposed ETD’s from 16:30 hours onwards (if it’s good enough for the banks….) – as you can see, it’s nose to the grindstone stuff.

Did I mention 16 on the Pedals? Bet you wish you were back at work.

Ride in Peace

Bullet (Le).

Okey Smokin Dokey,

Thought it best to end the year in a manner to which I intend to commence the next; full of passion, hyperbole and underarm sniffing.

As the sun begins to set on 2012 and several Mayans wander aimlessly through the back streets of Lindfield ruminating on whether or not they just picked the wrong Frickin’ day, we look back on the final running of the Rhodes Roubaix – and what a cherry popping affair it was…..

Furtive glances and titters of delight greeted our Yuletide Throng atop KPR this morn; one could feel the atmosphere surging, pulsating – nay throbbing, as the appointed hour (well, half hour, actually) approached, for today was to be the day that Sam (Son of Jan) and Dainty Dora were to sacrifice their preciously preserved maidenheads for their inaugural Rhodes Roubaix.

The clock tick over to 6.30 and “Pop” went their combined punnet. A quick smoking ceremony followed by four Our Fathers and off we went.

RTG (RTC), Dopey, Chippo, Bullet (Le), Sam (Son of Jan), Graham, Dora, Dragon, Sri Lunchalot, Virgin (Extra – now that he is sporting a smart new Garmin 500) and Herbicide/Herbivore/Herbal Tea/Herbinator.

Today’s appoint circuit home would be via the Misty Moors of Meadowbank, the Badlands, Inner Westeros and complete sacred songline of the Backdoor – and so it was. Some points to note:

• Chippo (Kunta Kinte) can confirm that holding an image of a stampeding Wildebeest in your minds eye does make you ride faster, a technique that he hopes to employ on his next ride with Leonardo da Finchi
• Mr Kinte can also confirm, after his recent ride with LdF, that when one vomits into ones mouth, it tastes just like you’d imagine. Thanks to Kunta for those important insights, and for reminding we mere mortals of what can happen when we dare to play with the Gods
• Herbicide/Herbivore/Herbal Tea/Herbinator brought to our attention that Mark Seymour (Hunter & Collectors) was playing at the Terrey Hills Tavern. He noted with interest that “How does it go that you can have heaps of hits and end up playing at a sh!thole like that?’ Best advised that Mr Seymour NOT be shown Wolfy Woodstock’s cinematic epic on the ER’s that us underscored with “Holy Grail” composed and performed by said aging rocker – a small matter of copyright infringement
• No accidents or mechanicals to report; just two Cherry Poppettes (Sam – Son of Jan, and Dora) wondering what all the fuss is was about. First times can be like that……
• Bullet (Le) reminisced on back catalogues, royalties and the nature of Has Been-ism, and gave thanks that his short but intense time in the rock industry left his sinuses largely intact……
• In a nostalgic saunter down memory lane, and due to the fact that the Google Coffee Shop was shut, refreshment was sought from our previous haunt – XXll – AKA Cafe Bullet AKA Madame Lash’s. Sans the lick of the lash, we were greet with the squeeze of the eyes and the purse of the lips of Rent Boy Ricardo, the new maitre d’. “No, no, no! You canno’ put ze table togezzer zat way! We will get a farn!” “A farn?” “Yes – a beeg farn from ze carnsil!” “The carnsil…….oh the council. Righto lads. Indoors.” Little atmosphere, no other patrons, average coffee, no split bills, a waiter who can fit four “S’s” into the word “Banana” – Ricardo really turned it on for us.
• Dragon proposed a minor deviation en route to The Backdoor, inviting us to ride up the steepest hill in Willoughby. Imagination ran riot as we considered the “Col de Pimple”, or the “Lanced Boil” but to our surprise and gratification, it presented something of a challenge. “Who’s idea was this!?!” chirped Ravi the Christ (Only for the holiday season), never one to shy away from a chance to get out of the saddle……Only 100 meters, but at 9% makes it a little pearler…….
• A pleasant pace throughout dispatching RTG (RTC) at Gordon, Dragon keeping company to Gordon before turning left, when the call was to turn right; much enthusiasm for the NYE Fluffer – 80-90km round trip on Monday morning.
• Of the 11 on the pedal, 5 were there for the ride with the boys as no work beckoned today for them. Says something, doesn’t it.

God’s speed, Gentlemen.

Bullet (Le)

You never roll alone on the one true path…though the illusion is quite strong, with strava as your friend it keeps you company no matter what..eh Wilson..they’ll come soon and then we’ll see who’s on the peloton..

Last Man Friday..in the traps waiting for a non-existant BOF to horn start the last OTP of the year..but even that was a no show…they’ll be here soon Wilson just you see if they don’t..

A desert island disk playing accumulated hits of Cardiff, “You’ll never walk alone” as YHC attacked the hills of death, memories of the ER peloton replete with running commentary calls of “Car Back” and “Glass” from Wilson..

Checking the clock on the crest of the Col de Lindfield, and ahead by a couple of minutes, the possibility of a PB or two fled through the brain leaving only an outline of its potential, no point flogging the horses eh Wilson..

A sprint to the crest of the Col de Rawhiti but had to wait for Wilson to catch up..so not really a blip on the Schlek stoush where YHC has nearly blown a lung through the rib cage on that section…perhaps there will be company joining soon eh Wilson..Lunchie for sure..

Alas just more desert ahead, ghosts of ER pelotons past trundling through the Col de Hill St into Boundary…not even a touch on the brakes as silence reigned …tumbrels not rolling as not a breath of wind through Chatswoo’ a lonely place on the second best way to start the day.

Tinadale had to regroup, Wilson finding a crook light on the Mowbray turn..then a spirited descent and spin through the Artarmon SUP…a solitary ER jockeying for position on the KOM, exploding into a last second dash for line honours..and applause from the Boundary riders already receiving coffee on the pavement tables ..beat Wilson by a mile..so was forced to soft pedal in the winner’s circle ..as one does..only as fast as the slowest rider..

Burlington burn was only a smoulder today as there were landscapers digging the landscape and lollypopping traffic into submission..but from there on my new Green light button seemed to be working well..whistled through the shredder and was onto the bridge before Wilson as I never saw him again..

Coffee..on the end of Kent St..luckily had room for the peloton of one..

Departures discussed and agreed as the usual 5:15 GG bus..

Have a great one all..

BT

Having been out late last night celebrating my step daughter’s recent Dean’s list achievement which saw YHC driving back up the north shore close to midnight, the alarm definitely went off before any actual sleep had taken place. Rolling in a daze through the motions of pre ride checklist, when it came to inspect undercarriage for signs of heavy landing, tyre condition, and creep indicators, it soon became apparent that there was a problem..very little in the way of tyre pressure..so YHC was forced to change the tube unassisted. First job was to swiftly boil the billy, as in any crisis a cup of tea is essential. Followed by removing the tyre, which is where skin on index finger was deftly removed by a sharpened blade of a spoke..OK &*^$%%^@ awake now…but by the time all was back in serviceable condition and the maintenance release had been signed, departure slot was closed so an alternative plan had to be submitted..threw the bike in the car and chuffed over to Fox Valley Rd to be warmly greeted by the Satnav bus..already girding their loins for a swift sprint to the Captains original departure point of Eastern Road Shops..

A dozen or so already in the traps ready for the Captain to indicate at any given moment that the ride had begun, in true ER style, the transition from stopped to going occurred as a rag tag bunch of misfits tried to imitate the polished discipline of a “serious” peloton, but looking like a rag tag bunch of misfits..and today I think they succeeded. The track through Turra, to Gordon, can only be described as circuitous, every wrinkle in the landscape duly examined and crossed, YHC managing to achieve the Lanterne Rouge with El Conejo while still in a disorientated state trying to figure out how an extra 5kms fitted in between two reasonably close together points..a lot of zig zagging required..and then suddenly there is the Mur de Gordon..and YHC pulls up with a PB…marvellous. Counting while in a hypoxic state, never much good beyond 21, today you might have been needing a few extra, 38 in the traps, and not even a RTW malarkey..just a second best way to start the day.

Rolling out took all of 5 minutes, untangling the crowds and stringing an egg and tomato ribbon through the dormitory suburbs of the north shore, you could almost see the lump in the Captains throat ( ok you could see the lump..) and a gentleman’s pace from the get go into the hills of death…pace was set by the slowest rider, and I was determined to be on that wheel..although with the cast of thousands and the fat controller messing with the traffic lights it was difficult to know which part of the peloton was actually the slowest..the pleasant unhurried pedal turner of a commute proving to be both sociable, achievable and quite a sight..looking down from atop the Col de Lindfield and seeing a queue of cyclists stretching all the way to the bottom being quite a highlight.

Regroups accumulating yet more riders, the count soon past 40, and pushed a 45 as more joined closer to town, by the top of Burlington, it was clear records were being broken..that tremble you felt at about 7:30 was the earth moving into a new orbit as the ER critical mass made it s way across the SHB and into the B&T..

Vic was a happy man this morning, no more grumps as the till rang like the opening bell on the NYSE..42 ERs ( average spend $4 each..with plenty going for more ) no wonder we have seen a total refurb of the place since day one. There were brand new milk crates to sit on, and some chairs even had cushions.

All the busses are primed and scheduled ready for the return wave, if the BOM are true to their word a scorching 30C is predicted.

Have a great on all

BT

Steamy morning, after a moist evening, nothing much to stop a hefty 24 odd person/peloton gathering in the dawn for a gallop into town. Herb having made his way via Bobbo being first in the stalls, had a longish wait while the also rans made their way to the start line..Drastique initialy a late scratching found his way into the fray somewhere towards the top of Archer St.

Numbers probably improved due to another social milestone on the calendar today, the “First Tuesday” of the month celebration of beer and skittles relegated to Thursday because a horse race got in the way. If you are quick you will be able to book in to the second best way to stop the nation at “The RedOaks” on Clarence..one not to be missed.

Averages …cycling is all about the average, as Chippo would say, and this morning It definitely was average, 20 plus on the pedals, pushing at an average 20, for 20 km…( and a bit more for the average rider ) so on average you could say it was pretty mean.

The Gaggle at the top of Archer was pretty average, Wildebeest have more form and panache on their migration, rolling regroup into Tindale and a slow build up to the KOM. The SUP ( shared user path) through Artarmon park was not too congested this morning YHC noticed that it seems that we encounter the same faces there every day, hence the need to be as polite as a 25 group of sweaty MAMILS can be. You never know who may be the one scraping you off the tarmac, but it helps to make friends in all the right places.

KOM taken by ??? Clutters was on the ride but was he on the front..or could it have been Andy Schleck..YHC was seated behind Satnav who was chatting to Bullet through all the excitement.

YHC’s blast up to Burlington…only managed to equal PB not exceed…still 7 seconds behind the Andy Schleck train..where and how those 7 pesky seconds come from ..every one a battle between breath and willpower.

Regrouped, recuperated and resumed progress at a regular tempo and then watched as the peloton was shredded into small groups before the charge over the bridge, and into the cafe…another superlatively average turnout..

Busses leaving for the return charge from the normal times, no doubt they too will be distinctly average..

Have a great day all
BT

The alarm went off in the middle of the night again, black as pitch, nothing to see, but YHC checking the radar which was suitably blank, rolled into gloom for some gorging.

What a perfect morning for a good hard ride, chilled to a balmy 13C no need to layer up and lovely dry road. Being still the middle of the night, no cars, nothing but me myself and I. Turning the pedals at cruise pace through the galston rollers, it was great to “push the pace a bit” as the peloton of one was having no trouble keeping up.

Dropping into the GG just as the first few rays of sunshine ( described in the manual as “Morning Civil Twilight ) were apparent by the bluish glow, not even the rooster at the bridge was game to mutter a morning call…then into the mur de Gallstone…10 minutes of turbo style pedalling. Actually reached the top without finding it hard, damn could have dropped a gear and gone faster…

A quick check on the clock, 5:30 and all is well, Hornsby is stirring, but YHC is pumping, plenty of time to gorge again, so it is off to Bobbo for the second course. Rolling on at BT pace, the peloton stepped up a notch…and hooned down into Bobbo at probably not a safe pace, but by now there was enough light to encourage a little sillyness. Once at the Bobbo bridge though but whom should show up but Herb and company..a real peloton of ridiculously fit MAMILS..Bravado over took me so I rolled to the front and tapped out my finest until the slope started to steepen and the ridiculously fit Herb and company continued on chatting easily while I dropped off the back like BamBams empty fag packet. Luckily they waited at the top, and gave me a good tow along to Turra, PBs a plenty for little extra effort..nice.

The roll down into Gordon, I hammered for the fun of keeping up with the traffic, as one does in a downhill direction, but by the time we’d joined the OTP bus, YHC was cooked, ready for a nice coffee and if I ate wheat , a croiscent. Just 18kms short of the cafe.

18 on the Bus this morning, all much too happy for a Tuesday, but perfect conditions and much anticipation of the Ride2Work day it was hard not be jollied along by the enthusiasm..The BOF was late by a good minute, but no worries the ER peloton was in the mood to make back that minute in the first attack on the hills of death, by Roseville there were 24 odd riders, and some more by the top of Tindale…all of which seemed to arrive before they disappeared…KOM was ( Default ) ¼ …he had called to the engine room for extra steam going along Artarmon road, and was probably at terminal velocity hitting the SUP..daylight second, C.Hippo cruising up not out of the saddle Third… YHC still receiving applause from the Boundary riders for arriving 5 minutes after the leaders have left the podium.

A tight peloton grouped and grinding through North Sydney, with perfect timing on the lights to be through and at SHB in near record time..SHB sprint, ¼ again finding the steam to power past umpteen “obstacles” and be first in the B&T.. the news is that our free coffee app is now being swapped for some other scheme..I just hope the 25 free cups I have saved up will not fall by the wayside..

The count down is on for what the ER riders have been practicing for all year, tomorrow is ride to work day…no excuses, drop what you have planned if you have not planned to be there. It is world record attempt time..50 minimum in the Egg and Tomato..your place has been reserved …there is a free breakfast or two just in case you need a little something extra to get you into the mood.

Return bus timetable is still current, no adjustments made for daylight saving..I for one will be on the 5pm..

Have a great day all
BT

Radar said “perfect weather for a ride into town”, and it being “that special day” Doris was in for a good hard ride this morning along the OTP. There were bongo’s drumming and restless natives to contend with, but as Dawn broke over Gordon, a well wrapped impi of ERs in “traffic cone” colours assembled for the off.

A brace of Geese, ( Imagine the goose in stereo )
A bullet
A Satellite
A Stealth,
A pair of Bananas
HB and Daisy
YHC and ( one more who’s ride name escapes this aged brain, If I have missed any more slap me or wear a name badge )
And Comet.

Half and Dragon..accreting at Roseville

Departed into the gathering gloom… temperature cool and getting cooler as we bravely fought the howling southerly..Doris sliding slowly rearward as the hills of death loomed large, it may not look that steep but if you have not had a ride in year or two, any rise feels like mountain, and carrying a little extra weight on the rack is quite noticeable.

All good things come to those who wait so it was good to see the peloton waiting for Doris to wheeze up to Roseville, the Rawhiti sprint section slowing Doris to a waltz back from the cha cha cha along Werona . Luckily Satnav was busy socialising in Lindfield so was still a minute behind allowing YHC to regain normal breathing before rolling on through Chatswood. Archer St is a hill…the dip along Tindale too ..every little wrinkle in the landscape …felt gruesome. KOM ..Doris by a mile ( behind ) was cheered by the Boundary riders enjoying the spectacle I think they thought I was chasing the field that had charged past minutes before ( which of course I was ) .

Regrouping in all the usual places, there was about a dozen to cross the bridge, the temperature was now about half what it was on departure, and a wall of southerly buster to battle before pretending to be enjoying sitting in the freezing cold at the B&T.

Definably.. the second best way to start the day.

Returns booked and paid for a GG debrief departing around the 5 to 5:15 mark..

Have a great day all

BT

YHC was up with the trucks this morning, bleary eyed and bushy tailed, straight into the Subi for a swift transfer to Gordon…and looking at the traffic it would be business as usual, our holiday is over, ute city, and quarry truck heaven along the double dipper of New Line Road.

Temperatures 17C Pressure Rising, sky ..clear of cloud..sun in your face warm…what more could a cyclo commuter ask for ( well a Peloton of 20 witty, like minded gents in lycra comes to mind but weatherwise ..a perfect morning for a commute into town)

YHC humbly suggests name tags…sort of like fighter pilots who paint their name on the fuselage to ensure the ground crew know who’s aircraft to sabotage..as gathering at the Gordon launch the addled brain could not put names to all the faces..welcome to Newbie Drastic, second or third ride in…doing great on a very old fixed gear MTB..

I counted to 19 as the peloton extended in front of me, being lantern rouge we had a NSW legal group in front, and a few more rolling on along the way probably put us into dubious territory, although with lights and greyhounds arguably we could say it was more than one peloton…yes judge I expect you to believe that..

Heading into the Artarmon park…plenty of foot traffic, and assorted vehicles to provide obstacle practice and opportunities to smile and wave, I wonder if next week after daylight saving kicks in if the crowds are going to be so big. KOM was more an exercise in restraint than the usual hypoxic charge of the lycra brigade, leaving the Burlington burn as a potential gasp fest..however it was too pleasant a day to spoil it with priapic feats of derring do.

B&T was well packed, stacked and racked..no seats available for the latest to arrive, the weather angle of the sun, lack of gale force winds, perfect conditions for a ride into town encouraging the general public to compete with the ER second best way..perhaps we should have an advance party to reserve the forecourt and rearrange the tables a bit before the hoards descend.

A huge 32C forecast for return busses, not much gap between cool weather wear and summer fashions…Bullet where are your people and what are they doing ?

Have a good one all..

BT

A belated OTP report, so what caught my eye this morning…

1. Perfect weather for a ride into town.
2. A magnificent array of ER contenders waiting for the bazz at Gordon.
3. Getting a clean sweep of lights from Warrawee
4. Luxurious lack of traffic due in part to School Holidays…
5. Satnav killing his PBs on the 4 gorges.
6. 20 on the OTP…( ish…coulda been more but to mention it triggers issues around peloton size..girth and length )
7. Pace at perfect pitch.
8. SUP crowded , ER manners impeccable
9. KOM..default option…1/4 great stuff.
10. Rolling through North Sydney at 30kph..nearly a clean sweep..
11. B&T on form, fast and loud.
12. Many happy returns planned for the usual times.

Have a great one all

BT

Cracking spin in this morning via the national park

B1c was in charge of the roll call at St Ives – Wilson, Dobbo, Tony, Herb and YHC all present and correct and on the pedals at the stroke of 5.30am. All very organised including a list!

Good time was made up Mona Vale to Forrest Way, Michael we looked for you and crystal cranked up to McCarrs but not sighted, hope all ok? Based on this morning’s pace if anyone is thinking of joining the bunch at the Forrest Way intersection 5.39 am is probably a better time to be ready for a 5.40am rollout.

The bunch kept tight through Akuna, all enjoying B1c’s musical app recently downloaded to his Garmin 500, a great innovation but they need to provide some more songs if it is going to catch on. In the end Dobbo and Wilson could stand no more and sprinted off the front with the West Head turn in sight, I think Dobbo may have clinched the honours.

Re grouped in the now usual spot for a bit of brekkie, subject to planning there is real potential for a coffee shop at the West head turn, before enjoying the spin down and through to Church Point and Pittwater Road.

Again good bunch formation all the way along the bus lane, before being taken on a short detour by a 3 Peaks veteran (who commutes 90km every day) promising car free passage up to Sydney Street. A worthy recommendation and also gave the bunch time for some much needed self-reflection as we followed the fella up a couple of Clutters style pinches. Well I assume that is what everyone was doing because it went awfully quiet for a while…

A car free run down the spit and then a Herb towed YHC up the next hill, dropping said 3 peaks veteran in the process- thanks mate, even got a PR so be aware next time you will have to work a bit harder.

Trouble free through the lower north shore rat run, plenty of water on the roads by this stage but our weather could not have been better, before joining the main OTP group as they ordered their second hit of caffeine.

Schleck