We had 3 ER’s in a mixed bag group of 7 from my Bobbo Sunday ride group. Me, Lunchie and David Wright. Most had never done more than 100kms and certainly were not fit so my mandate was to help them at least get around the course or to the nearest railway station if needed.

We rolled out just after I said farewell to Magoo’s group (& Jamie thanks for the frozen Cocain bar – yum) and got overtaken in the dark by a chirpy Chipo going up Westgate bridge. I’m sure he had his sandals on. Descending the other side one got a puncture in a very dangerous spot – concrete barrier on left, we took up 1/4 of the only lane for riding & they were coming in masses down the hill in the dark doing 30-40. David took my flashing front light & was shooing them away but I could hear him saying F…off now and then to those determined to ride over the top of us.

We built up a good train but the ones ahead were often too slow & trains too long & you had to venture into the next lane with cars to get past. Then another puncture – David. We took the opportunity to pee over the barbed wire fence until we realised it was Werribee zoo & feared for our manhood. Off again and we passed at speed Boyce & someone with a puncture and then into Geelong where we met Greg Starr with his bike in the workshop. I tried to get him to join us but he insisted we carry on. Just out of there we were heading for a roundabout and the event officials decided to shift the 250km sign back 100m so people can see it. Trouble is they turned it sideways as they carried it and whilst we knew to turn left I suspect Greg was just behind and went straight ahead for the 210km (use this excuse Greg!).

Just around the corner David got his third flat & then we undulated along to Portarlington where one of our group was struggling so we stopped for 2nd breakfast – elevensies (hobbit style), bacon egg sandwich & coffee in a beach front cafe. I eyed off the Galliano but refrained. The scenery along there was beautiful with wheat fields (forgive me BT) and vineyards rolling into the sea.

We then formed a medic train & towed our friend 50kms to Queenscliff for the ferry. There at 11.45am but ferry problems so on the 2pm ferry. Ugggh. We had lunch & then I went for a joy ride around Queenscliff beautiful town & buildings in every street – then I got a call saying come back quickly as ferry now leaving early. Almost got back & they then rode out to me saying the ferry has now been put back again. We found a coffee shop and all ordered milk shakes etc then got a call saying ferry leaving now so put the drinks in our bidon cages & just got onto the 1.30pm ferry.

This is where some low life stole my new red gloves. My 8th dan thai boxing mate was going to check all of them on the ferry & if we had of found them..well I hate to think. Anyway fortunately that low life must have somehow put the gloves back in my helmet after I put it on which is where I found them 100kms later at the finish line :-).

We actually had a good train moving all the way back to Melbourne and like Magoo didn’t know that we’d already rolled over Mount Martha and we were still looking for it. Saw ER Marc Walker along the way as well. As we passed through Frankston where I was born I saw O’Grady avenue which is where I was brought up and we all let out a cheer. I left home at age 5 and moved North to Sydney where my folks joined me.  

After Frankston 2 friends began to struggle as we punched into the wind so we had a few stops before rolling over the finish line and having a few celebratory beers.

My wife also rode and did the 100km Sorrento to Melbourne ride and had worse headwinds than us so big kudos to her. She has discovered the joys of hotfoot, numb butt and sore shoulders and was glad to hear it is not just her.

The great joy was we all worked together as a team and everyone made it well beyond their limits so overall mission accomplished. Man those beers tasted good.

It was also lovely the amount of people who passed by & saw our egg n tomato colours and would say ‘hey – go easy riders’, so we have a good reputation out there.

regards, Dopey

A lot of people had a lot of different experiences on the Around the Bay day, so I’d like to think I am starting a collaborative ride report, with certain amendments and gaps to be filled in by others. Here is my recount.

After deciding to avoid the clutter of the official starting gates, the ER peloton of Magoo, Goaders, Jenn, Alex, Boycey, Jamie, Greg and Michael set off from outside our apartments (1km from the start) at 5:30, full of the energy and excitement of small Christian children on Christmas day! … only to seemingly get every red light on the way out of the city. We had established a few ground rules – nobody should be left alone and some groups may naturally form along the way. Turns out the risk of groups “naturally forming” was rather immediate as Goaders powered off from the word go, driving a solid pace. He and I flew up the West Gate bridge, with the likes of Jenn chasing (with a heart rate of 196).

We formed a peloton for the highway dash down towards Geelong. Holding a nice average of around 40, with spurts of 45. We avoided catastrophe twice when we found two solid metal gates thrown across the road shoulder. They did claim victims, but luckily none of us. We were claimed by confusing signage however – Goaders took an exit (which turned out to be a dead end street), and a good 100 other people with us. Lesson here – don’t follow Sydneysiders while in Melbourne!

Chippo and his bunch flew past us down this stretch too. I jumped on to their bunch and started telling his mate all his dirty secrets. Not to be outdone, Goaders led the ER’s past the bunch, at what must have been 45-odd. This wasn’t set to last long – they put the foot down and dropped us. Goaders, Jenn and I thought we could reel them back in – but then I heard the all so familiar sound of the air escaping my front tire.

I was out – thanks to Jamie, Michael and Alex who stopped to help. We were on our way again. Out of nowhere Andy H appeared and joined us for the run into Geelong. I was a little upset I’d lost 10mins on Goaders and Jenn (and later learnt that Greg and Boycey had also had a mechanical) and was pretty determined to chase them down. We continued on, grabbing on to groups, only to find them to be too slow and moving forward again. Outside of Geelong we came across a large bunch doing ~28. I was pretty tired, so figured it made sense to stay with them, but needed to get their speed up. Nothing like a small blonde girl holding 35 on the front for 10mins to inspire 20-odd blokes to up the pace for the ride into Geelong.

We were split in and around the next rest stop. Again, Andy and I forged ahead, occasionally finding riders, working out quickly they were either too slow or not super willing to work with us. We started the fight against the undulations going into Portalington and then I spotted THEM. Two black and red jerseys in the distance. Already much more fatigued than I ever planned to be at that point I put the foot down and flew up and past Goaders and Jenn – quickly abusing them and then dropping in behind for a well-earned rest. Thanks Andy and Goaders for dragging us to the Ferry – I was pretty dead at this point.

A pumpkin and lettuce sandwich has never tasted so good. I threw that down, as well as a few bottles of Powerade and we boarded the SS Bike Porn (or the Queenscliff to Sorrento Ferry). All in all the rest stop was probably about 50-60mins, including the ferry ride. It was pretty overcast, but still quite warm. I might mention now that my plan was to sit in behind people (ER or not) for 90% of the ride, doing my bit on the front where required but generally pacing myself. Since the flat and having to make the catch, I was a lot more fatigued than I had planned to be. Little did I know, that was only going to get worse.

Getting off the ferry, we set off back up the coast. After about 10mins, Goaders, Andy and Jenn pulled off for a bathroom stop and somehow Michael and I lost Alex and Jamie behind us. Michael and I forged on into the “hilly” country. We had one nice group of 3 guys that worked well with us for a while, but most of the run between the ferry and Mt Martha was very lonely. Everyone we passed sucked our wheels until they fell off. It must have looked pretty funny seeing me dragging a line of 10-15 blokes along the seaside. The headwind at this stage was starting to get a bit serious, so it was pretty hard work.

I have to laugh at Mt Martha. It’s not even 1/3 of Bobbo, but people were walking up or slowly grinding up in their smallest gears. I think this is where Andy H caught us again, but we sailed past 50-odd riders in our big chain rings. The top looked like a rest stop – it wasn’t, it was just full of strugglers.

Andy, Michael and I continued down to Frankston, where we stopped for water and food. Typical Melbourne weather, there was a bit of rain about now. We set off down the Nepean Hwy in a horrible, horrible headwind. I’m really hurting now, but still need to help out Andy on the front. Same deal as always, we find groups, but they turn out to be too slow, so we shoot off again in search of the illusive large peloton doing 35. The Nepean Hwy turns into Beach Rd. Suddenly I find myself in a predicament – Andy is moving ahead, Michael is dropping off behind and I need to make a decision – I followed Andy.

At this stage my back hurts, my butt hurts, I’m developing hot foot, I had it in my mind for a while my toenails had come off, I’m going through all sorts of emotions. Andy managed to get with a small group – I kept falling off and getting back on again. The side of the road looked like a war zone, with people lying all over the place, some crying, some with their legs in the air. We passed the final rest stop (which again, looked like a battlefield medical area, except without the blood), determined to finish.

This was the longest 20km of my life. I’m in serious pain from all the work up to now. Andy is desperately hoping his calves don’t cramp. The wind lands punch after punch into our chests as we pass hundreds of riders on the last stretch (many of the 210 and 100 riders). The city skyline appears. Finally we start doing hook turns to get into the city. We randomly run into Greg who missed the 250km turn off and was finishing off the 210km ride. I’m so desperate to finish – I’m out of my seat for the run down City Rd and I sprint across the line at the end, almost taking out a Bupa girl handing out medals. I pull up, get off my bike and come close to passing out as we wait for the others.

It was done.

FANTASTIC EFFORT by all. Many comments to me and others about how “Easy Riders” don’t exactly take it easy!

Six ER’s – Goaders, Greg, Admin, Michael, Big Phil and myself – set off from the Railway bridge in Wahroonga (note to self, not the overpass near Abbotsleigh) at 5am for what was to be certainly the most epic ride I have ever done.

Stock standard ride up to the Pie in the Sky – which wasn’t yet open. There was a very lovely chocolate brown “guard” dog waiting for us near the entrance, begging us not to leave with big puppy dog eyes. Alas on a Goaders schedule, we continued onwards past the Glue Factory (doesn’t smell as good on Saturdays), past some magnificent black and yellow cockatoos (which almost caused Goaders to come off his bike) and down into Gosford. Stunning morning on the coast, pity about the yobbos in commodores who gave us the odd beeping. Having done 80% of the climbing getting to Gosford, it was a cruise along to The Entrance. We sat down to a massive breakfast only to run into one G. Boycey! Earning points taking his lovely wife away for their wedding anniversary.

The Central Coast Hwy, the long flat bit up to where we met the Pacific Highway, was awful. Rather dry and windy, rough surfaced, lots of sticks and with a small crappy shoulder that had us in single file (again copping it from Coasties). I was very relieved when at the end, Greg turned to me and said that part was easily the worst bit of the ride. Turns out it wasn’t but I was happy at the time! We did the rolling group thing (which was effective to a point) down into Swansea , enjoying blue smurf frozen ice things (half frozen sugar water basically). Taking Wilsons directions, we hopped on the Fernleigh bike path (an old railway line) all the way to Adamstown, which INCLUDED A TRAIN TUNNEL AND A STATION! I was very excited. So was everyone else when we realised were we going uphill for ages – it very suddenly got a lot easier!

Lunch at Newcastle was grand. We lost Admin and Phil to the lure of the train (and their families). Seagulls circled looking for every opportunity to attack Goaders. We all ate HUGE amounts of food – Mr Goad ordering a steak with potatoes and salad and then an extra family sized wedges. The sweet potato chips from the burger place next door to the Brewery are awesome, FYI.

Back on the bikes, the real fight against the wind began. Even on the bike path we copped it. On the highway back up to Swansea was even worse. If it wasn’t fully in my face, it was hitting me from the side and throwing me off path. Even drinking plenty of water, head started to ache at Swansea (where I switched to Powerade).

Gosford. FINALLY. After taking some random way through West Gosford industrial estate (full of meth labs no doubt). Everyone was hurting. Except for Greg, who looked full of the joys of spring when his brother turned up in his car. That said, EPIC ride sir. To get that far is an amazing effort given you had only ever done 100km once or twice before. Eating more food and drinking more sugar water, we gazed up at the lights at the top of the next climb. Getting 80% of the climbing done in the first section is great, except when you do the return…

I had a false injection of energy at Gosford, probably from excitement of being close to home (since when is Gosford close to home…). The climb up was pretty cruisy. The next climb, from the creek up, felt like it went on for 10km. Finally down the other side and across the Peats Ferry Bridge, only for Goaders to stop, take his shoes off and start scratching around like a giant chicken. Michael was stone silent and I was in stitches! It felt like we were dragging cement up the final climb. My ass was so sore I was out of my seat for a lot of it. We are all also going slightly mad at this time.

FINALLY we get to Asquith. Can’t possibly go further without sustenance, so we share a romantic Coke between the 3 of us. After finding out Hawthorn and the Roosters won, we set off again for home. I walked in the door, took off my shoes and knicks and lay on the floor for a good 20mins. I don’t think I have ever been that shattered and I’ve done some pretty crazy things.

Great riding all of you. Even those who made It to Newcastle – 160km is a massive effort!