Comrades of the Pedal
Last night i was foolish enough to describe the ride home in Strava as ‘The Big Wet’. Foolish, for as quick as a Flash, Gerhard Falsh of the North Sydney Polytechnical Institute of Linguistics slapped me down and suggested that no, the weather home that night had been ‘tortential’. What could this brilliant Neologistic contrivance be signifying? – torrential but with potential for worse? Exponentially tortuous – so that the farther one rode, the worse it became? No matter, as I feel certain that this mornings weather conformed to the Falsh’s definition of ‘tortential’ – it was peeing it down. I know this because on morning’s such as this Madame Half races down the stairs before i exit, nostrils flaring, to declare “you cannot be serious…?”. Oh yes, Madame Half, I can – we can. we have imbibed Rule #9 – we know that other “Baddasses” will be present and thus “We Ride”.
well it was all a bit of an anti-climax getting out there. after the deluge of 6.25ish, the weather seemed to have settled – so much so that Gillet was selected over rain jacket for the mornings spin. this was merely one misjudgement amongst a number on this rainy morn. Heading towards Treatts Road the once proud ER peloton passed me hurtling down Lindfield Ave – i spied the Stealth, Schleck, B1, Bammers, Chippo, be-sandaled in a hopeless act of contrarian defiance against the weather, and an unfamiliar figure from around these parts, who apparently goes by the name Satnav. and that’s about it.
Lindfield: nice and dry. Couple of drops at Roseville whereupon we picked up WBA. Deluge by Boundary Street – Tortential indeed. Chippo’s smile, turned to the kind of maniacal grin that only a velominati follower can muster. From there to Scaramanga we gingerly made our way past assorted muggles, jogging, walking. KOM was the kind of non-event to be recommended on days such as these – i feel certain there was a contest as by naremburn 1/4 had joined the fray. No idea what happened, as i was proud holder of the Lantern Rouge a l’arriere du peloton.
on up onto West Street – hiss, pop Satnav throws his now customary snake bite. Must have shares in Conti Tyres mate. Fortunately for all concerned, the incident occurred roughly adjacent to the Lingerie Shop which invited passers by to “lay by” for a look or otherwise oggle the assorted items on display. for once the puncture fixing routine seemed to be faster than usual and it was clearly with some regret that the peloton moved off to catch up with the forward group that was already installed at B+T
No dramas thru North Sydney, over the bridge and onto terra firma by the observatory – whereupon a puddle of Lake Eyre proportions confronted us. WBA thought he spied safe passage onto the pavement. His conviction that a nice little ramp would see him clear was unfortunately unfounded. In tune with the spirit of the “Roubaix” monikered item he was riding, WBA undertook a spectacular double somersault with a 3.2 difficulty. Bike went over backside and ignominy was complete as WBA swapped Rapha jacket for swimming trunks sitting in the middle of the offending puddle. Cameras unfortunately not forthcoming to capture the action. Pride a lot worse dented than knee i believe.
B+T news – Satnav had an interesting story about how he came to acquire 4 or was it 5 steel frames whilst on hols in Melbourne. Fortunately members of the Royal Victorian Constabulary were not present to hear some cock and bull story about being given leave to jump over some poor blokes fence in an act of mercy to acquire said frames. if anyone reads about missing Colnago masters, Pinarellos etc. down south you didn’t hear it here first.
the weather promises to be tortential for the ride home. I’m aiming at a 5.15. Brings your paddles, snorkels and swimming trunks.
hasta la vista
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