Hi All,
I have “survived” my first 2 outings with the “Easy Riders” – both Allambie returns.
Here is my “report” – I hope some of you enjoy a few of my insights – glad I’m 15kg less than I was at the start of 2012 – I’d be dead otherwise …
Words in Blue are my Legs, Words in Red are my Head, Words in Green – how dumb am I? – sometimes there are other words from my arms …
The Mavis Perspective
Sometimes I amaze myself at just how DUMB I can be !!!
- “… we only ride as fast as the slowest rider … “
- “… join us, you will enjoy the ride …”
- “… come to St Ives with us … we’ll wait for you …”
Shadowing Comet’s cry “wrecked” and Richard’s advice in response, I am today walking around without any legs (I can see them, but I can’t feel them).
I suppose it doesn’t take Einstein (but it does take someone smarter than me) to work out that a group of cyclists who want to add Allambie hill and an extra dozen kms to their homeward journey either:
- Don’t really want to go home; or
- Are suffering some sort of guilt trip for which they need to punish themselves.
Having made it to Corkery Cres on Tuesday, I promised to ride to the BP (Flers St) last night.
Yikes – still on a conference call at 5:10pm! I hate rushing to meet a group – they are fresh and I’m puffed! Why did I take a front position across the bridge? Am I stupid? (see above – YES)
The rest at Spofforth St as we waited for a flat tyre repair worked against me. I thought it was good – to have a chance to recover – but clearly others recovered faster and more effectively than me …
As we headed off, staying near the front (not at the front this time) was simply my insurance policy for coming rises (anything short of a decline was a challenge) as I slipped back toward the rear, with pairs of ERs strolling on by. Thank goodness for the red light at the bottom of Parriwi Road – another breather! I grew up at the top of Battle Boulevard, so that hill and I have a natural rhythm – it is not a fast rhythm, but we have an understanding …
Yay – downhill to my place (my home is at the first roundabout as you head up Allambie hill).
I say to myself over and over again:
“Save your legs Mavis – the rise through Manly Vale is deceptive – you know it and have ridden it hundreds of times”
My legs scream back:
“Save your legs??? We are expired – reach down and use your arms to help us!!!”
I dig deep into the Jens Voigt volt of advice: “Shut up and keep pedalling princess” (my paraphrase)
The leaders go straight past the end of Sloane Cres:
“Nooo, the main road hill is much more fierce than the Sloane/Cornwell rise”
“I’m taking the easier route – I call out: ‘less traffic – safety …’
- did anyone notice I could hardly speak?
- do they know I really just went this way because it is easier?
- at the roundabout my home is straight ahead – I’ll decide about the BP promise when I get to the roundabout …
Arriving at the round about – we are ahead of the main road group by 50m – I told you it is easier up Sloane/Cornwell – I decide that the 50m head start will help me – but by the time I pass Goondari (only 200m up the hill), I’m near the back and by Earawy(50m later) – I’m simply dust – still 300m to Corkery and 1.5 km to the BP – seriously, am I stupid? I could be home now in my pool! See above – YES.
But I told MRE to keep me honest – hold me to my BP promise – I have to push through – Jens in my head again …
My legs reply: “Yes, but that promise doesn’t count – you made that promise when you thought:
- “… we only ride as fast as the slowest rider … “
- “… join us, you will enjoy the ride …”
- “… come to St Ives with us … we’ll wait for you …”
In my head – Jens Voigt …
As I pass the BP I can still see one Yellow and Red jersey ahead – I wonder where they re-group? I know they will not expect me anyway abd even if they do re-group, they will leave before I arrive – so I’ll just toddle along and turn around at the top – but why – I said I’d turn at the BP but I’m still going – my arms (remember, the parts of my body that only 15 minutes earlier were called on to help my legs) are completely unresponsive – they can’t muster the energy to turn the handle bars – so I’m stuck going forward – up Allambie Hill.
At about this point, the flood of sweat teaming down my face is so great that my eyes are stinging from the salt and I have to remove my glasses to wipe – peddle, peddle, wipe, peddle peddle wipe etc etc.
“where did that jersey go?” “Oh yeah, no glasses!” … see above … YES
“Is that a big bunch of daisies on the road up there – maybe it is the last ER jersey – I wonder IF they re-group?”
- Legs: “We don’t care – turn around – go home – downhill is good …”
- Arms: “What? Can’t move – can’t steer. Stop pedalling – we are just hanging on.”
- Heads: Jens Voigt … Jens Voigt … Jens Voigt (why am I saying that name to myself???) … YES
Wow – they do re-group – wow I’ve made it.
- Legs: “Are we there yet?”
- Arms: “What? Can’t move – can’t steer. Please fall over now!”
- Legs: “Why do you get a break, we still have to stand! Can’t we sit on that cool grass?”
- Head: Don’t show pain, don’t show pain.
- MRE: Coming to Mona Vale Rd?
- Head: Don’t show pain – OK – Jens Voigt … Jens Voigt … Jens Voigt … YES
Pretty much the rest of the ride is a blurr – even those parts when I put my glasses back on – everything was spinning. I rounded the bend at Bunnings to see the ERs at the exit ramp 400m ahead – fortunately nobody wanted to lead nd the group split and then re-grouped – I thought they were waiting for me, so up I stood – I think – and in no time I was on again – they pushed me forward “sit behind a big bloke”. I amazed myself – after too many kms, I sat in the group and rode through to St Ives, but that Alpine climb up to Richmond Ave is the final straw …
My Legs call out (in the style of Leighton HEWITT?): “Come oonnn!!! We are at St Ives already – way past Mona Vale Rd – and who cares where MRE is – just go home already – and just in case you don’t think we are serious – remember that knee re-con you had – and the DVTs you had – and the other issues – well we are going to throw a few cramps your way – just so you know to stop and turn around.”
Head: There is MRE – he is turning around – phew.
MRE nurses me back to Forest Way shops. Crossed at the lights and along the footpath to go over Warringah Rd and the Parkway into the Aquatic Centre.
Do you know how steep that hill is out of the Aquatic Centre up to Madison Way?
Downhill home – what a ride.
Not much sleep last night – legs kept waking me up every few hours with a new cramp: “Don’t do that to us again you fool!”
Head: Ow, pain! Jens Voigt, Jens Voigt.
The only reason I rode in today is because I am getting way to tight in my old age to pay $3.60 for the privilege of sitting in a stinking bus going slower than I can ride (even with no legs).
Thanks guys – I’ll try to be a regular on the Allambie return – and I’m currently looking into my diet – found an awesome research paper on the internet about fatty foods vs Carbs vs Protein and when I need to eat them … D’Oh … YES